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CitySorrow

ever changable.
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Yeah, so... It's been over a year since I've visited my own DA account. I'm sorry about that. I'm also sorry to inform you that I no longer doll/pixel. It's not a part of my life anymore.
Unlike with my old account, I won't be deleting this one so you can save/view/enjoy the art here. I'll do my best to remain active but when I post artwork, it will most likely be my photographs or drawings now. I look back fondly on the many years I've spent being part of the dolling community and cherish the friendships that evolved from it. Thanks to all of the people who were loyal viewers of my work as well, I wouldn't have become the artist I am today without your love and support.

So this is how my year has been... 

Part of the reason I've been absent for so long is my job that I recently quit. It drained a lot of my energy and inspiration, making it hard to create any form of artwork. 
I also fell into a severe state of depression this year. I don't know if it's appropriate to discuss but I will anyway. I've always struggled with self loathing and coupled with the depression and anxiety built up over the past year, I've developed a pretty bleak view on life. I started smoking, I began to cut. I still currently struggle a lot with these emotions/desires/whatever else that's consuming my brain but I've been working really hard to overcome the negativity. I'm not going to lie to you and say it's gotten better, or will get better. I don't know what's going to happen down the line. My will to live has always been kinda shot, but...I still have friends and family who love me dearly and somewhere deep in my head and my heart there's a part of me that holds on because life is rough but beautiful and there's so many things I want to do before I go.

Erm....yeah. That's about it. This year as been long and tiresome and I'm looking forward to starting over in the next one.
If you'd like to keep in contact, my Facebook/Tumblr/Skype would be the place to do it.

Tumblr: thenightmaregent
Skype: lovemecancerously

Happy Halloween everyone. I'm going to attempt Freddie Fazbear makeup. I aim to be horrifying.  
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Happy Halloween!


 I'm dressing up as an awful human being who isn't active here anymore! Buahahaha!....oh wait, that's not a costume. Erm.
Well, I swear I'll put art up again. I did start working on a chibi Vaporeon and got a LOT OF WORK DONE ON IT THEN DID A STUPID THING WHICH CAUSED IT TO GET DELETED AND IT UPSETS ME GREATLY. 
If I can scan a drawing without it looking like crap, it will also be posted. 
I'd also like to thank the small group of new watchers I've cultivated despite not being active whatsoever. And the old watchers who are very patient and don't despise me. 

In the meantime, here's a survey thing I nabbed. Enjoy.

Time started: 4 in the freakin morning. 
Gender: Genderqueer Male. 
Name: Cedars
Birthday: December 30th  
Siblings: A douchey half brother. 
Eye color: Dirt. 
Shoe size: Varies. 
Height: 5'7" and wishing I was taller. 
What are you wearing: T-shirt and boxers. 
Where do you live: Alaska.
Righty or lefty: Lefty for life. 
Who is your closest friend: A bunch of twats I've known for a really long time. ~<3 
Best place for a date?: Umm, staying in and watching horror movies. Watching horror films in a theater. Attempting to make a horror movie while drunk....the possibilities are endless. 
Fave Color?: Grey.
Fave Number: Don't have one. 
Fave Boys Name: Emery, Anton, Edger, Charlie/Charles, Dante, Rufus, Gregory, Cedric, Tobias, etc.  
Fave Girls Name: December, Charlie, Elliot, Inari, Naomi, Freddy, Jennika, etc. 
Fave Sport: Uhh, Stoner Olympics, I dunno. 
Fave Month: Quite fond of October, actually...before the snow hits. 
Fave Season: Fall. 
Fave movies: The list is endless, but I'll include some: Saw, Cabin in the Woods, The World's End, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, 28 Days Later, The Fall, Inception, Silence of the Lambs, Better than Chocolate, Reincarnation, The Man Who Loved Yngve, Let the Right One In (Swedish), Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Swedish), Requiem for a Dream, Donnie Darko, Pan's Labryinth, Little Miss Sunshine, Kill Bill I/II, Pacific Rim, 13 Ghosts, Planet Terror (Grindhouse), AND THE LIST GOES ON....  
Juice: Fruit Punch.
Breakfast food: Pancakes and hashbrowns. <3  
Favorite cartoon character: Courage the Cowardly Dog, Shaggy, probably more but I can't think them up proper-like. 
Given anyone a bath: That is a strange and personal question. 
Smoked: Nah. 
Made yourself throw-up: A couple of times, usually due to eating while ill and instantly regretting it. 
Gone skinnydipping: Nah, but it sounds fun. 
Eaten a dog: No thank you, I like my dogs alive and well. 
Put your tongue on a frozen pole?: Nope. 
Loved someone so much it made you cry?: A little.  
Broken a bone?: Nope. 
Played truth or dare: Yep. 
Been in a physical fight: Nope. 
Been in a police car: Nope. 
Been on a plane: Yep.  
Come close to dying: Don't think so. 
Been in a hot tub: Heck yes. 
Cried when someone died: Erm -cough- not really. I haven't had someone really close to me pass on. 
Fell off your chair: It's happened, yes. 
Wait for someone's phone call: Not really. 
Saved AIM/Yahoo conversations: I use to but not anymore.
Saved e-mails: Only work-related stuff. 
Fallen for one of your best guy friends: Sure. We're not friends anymore, so you can imagine how that worked out. 
Made out with JUST a friend?: Yeah, kinda. 
Used someone: No.
Whats your good luck charm?: I don't have one? 
Best song you ever heard: Don't do this to me. 
What's your bedroom like: Messy and unimpressive. 
Last thing you said: G'night. 
What is beside you?: My pipe and lighter, a bottle of water, mouse, books. 
Last thing you ate: A piece of chocolate. 
What kind of shampoo do you use: Um, not entirely sure. Good smelling kind? 
Best thing that has happened to you this year: Met a member of Red Hot Chili Peppers, got in the dating scene, making money, went to a yearly pirate pub crawl and reenacted The World's End, other stuff. 
Worst thing that has happened to you this year: Um, things. I don't really like to think too much on the bad stuff. 
Chicken pox: Never got 'em. 
Sore Throat: Happens sometimes.  
Stitches: In my eyeball. 
Broken nose: Nope. 
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Not really. 
Like school: I like the idea of school, but never got along with it in reality. 
What schools have you gone to: Finished High School, putting off college for a bit. 
Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000 dollars: No, I wouldn't be physically capable of going through with it. 
If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with you: Captain Jack Sparrow. 
 you wear contacts or glasses: No, but I probably should. 
Do you like yourself: Sometimes. 
Do you get along with your family: Yes and no. 
Stolen anything over $50: I don't think so. 
What are you listening to right now?: The shower running. 
Got any awards: One or two from school years. 
What car do you wish to have: A Pegasus.  
Where do you want to get married: I don't want to get married, dickwad. 
If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be: Weight, lazy eye...a lot of things. 
Good driver: Haha, noooo. I'm afraid of driving. 
Good singer: Decent, yeah. 
Have a lava lamp: Once upon a time. 
How many remote controls are in your house: 4...5. 
Double jointed: Fingers, yep. 
What do you dream about: A lot of really weird things. Last night it was the Always Sunny gang and I trapped in a mansion with an old dead guy while looking for treasure. Charlie was dressed as a pirate for some reason. 
Last time you showered: Yesterday. I'll be showering again in an hour or two. 
Last time you took a bath: I don't like baths. 
Scary or happy movies: SCARY. 
Chocolate or white chocolate: Chocolate. Always chocolate. 
Root Beer or Dr. Pepper:  Dr. Pepper
Vanilla or chocolate: ALWAYS CHOCOLATE. 
Summer or winter:  Winter. 
Silver or Gold: Silver. 
Diamond or pearl: Neither. 
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunsets here are pretty BAMF. 
Sprite or 7up: 7Up. 
Cats or dogs: Dogs win my heart, but I like both just fine. 
Coffee or tea: Both. Depends on my mood, really. 
Phone or in person: Person. I barely tolerate talking on the phone. 
Indoor or outdoor: Either. 
End Time: 5:30am 


(I took out some questions because it's super lengthy) 
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Still forgetting to exist on here. I've been doing art and stuff but not pixeling, mostly because I'm very tired after work and have no inspiration for it overall.
I'll try to get back to it when I can. I do live on tumblr quite a bit so if you want to follow me it's the nightmare gent.
Warning: contains lots of Hannibal. I'm currently very fond of it. Also Night Vale. 

Glad to see people enjoying my artwork even while I'm absent. I really appreciate it very much.

Everyone have a good evening. Feel free to leave questions about life or random comments or just tell me to suck the hard one. It's okay, I can take it. 

...heh. 
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Sorry for dying yet again with Deviantart.
It's been really hard to get the inspiration to pixel and draw in general. I've been feeling kind of inadequate art wise lately.
Also between trying to catch up with different movies and tv shows and working, it's been oddly hectic.

Anyways, I do have one more request left to do and so I'll try and finish it up by the end of the month.
Afterward....well...we'll see.

My  apologies. Cheers everyone.
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Actually working now folks. Go me! That's the main reason I've been dead for so long.
Now almost finished with a commission and will be doing the requests in due time.

After that, I'll take a break to work on some me art, which means character building, character creation andddd
other stuff.

I'm going to play around with making full sized adult scenes. You don't see a lot of full on sexual activity in the dolling world...probably because DA has rules against that
but WHATEVER, I'M DOING IT ANYWAYS. It's good anatomy practice and I've been dying to make some trans! porn, not gonna lie.
Also Cole x Damien and Magpie x Steven, major couples from my stories that I suck on getting started.
AND NEW COUPLES. LESBIANS. OH MY GOODNESS, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH LESBIAN IN MY LIFE.

Alright, don't know what's happening anymore.
Tell me how you guys are. Say things. Tell me about YOUR characters, their lives, goals, dreams, sexual stimulation, I don't care. I just love hearing about characters.
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